Kendra Johnson, MSW, LCSW
Hi. My name is Kendra Johnson. I am a therapist here at Crosswinds Counseling. Today I want to talk to you about adjusting to new circumstances. One thing is, change, it kind of sucks because change, good or bad, is different and so it makes us uncomfortable. Two things you really want to think about when you’re adjusting to new circumstances is:
1) ‘Why am I feeling uncomfortable?’ Is it because it could be because – you know the grief of losing what you were already expecting? Sometimes grief is not just, ‘ Oh I lost someone.’ It can also be losing, ‘Oh, I was expecting to do this and now I have to do something different,’ or, ‘I was really looking forward to this new position in life, but now that’s all changed.’ So really thinking about, ‘Well what have I lost?’ But then also thinking about, ‘Well, what can I gain?’ Like, ‘What perspective do I have in this situation? What’s on the flip side?’
2) Then also when you think about adjustment you can think about, ‘Am I communicating what I really need to the people who are important around me?’ Sometimes it can just be, “I’m really just overwhelmed because I’m not asking for help, and I’m not getting the things that I need from others.” Sometimes that’s hard to do. If we are – you know -we have this complex of, ‘Oh, I can take on everything. I can take on the world.” It’s challenging to say, ‘Oh, no, I really can’t take on the world, and I do need support and help in this situation.”
So just when you think about adjusting to a new circumstance, just make [sure you] remember to think about, ‘Why am I feeling this way? What am I losing?’ or, ‘What change is making me uncomfortable?’ Then think about perspective, like, ‘What joy could you come out of that? What joy can come out of the new change?’ Think about how you can communicate your needs to the people who are closest to you.