Men Often Struggle with the Idea of Counseling
Many men in this culture struggle with the idea of being in counseling and “talking about their feelings” or feeling vulnerable to a stranger. But the reality is we all desire to be valued, loved, and accepted for who we are and where we have come from. Counseling creates an environment for an individual to feel valued, loved, accepted, and understood in spite of who the person is and what they have done. Men often seek counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, grief, and marital problems, but there is an increase in the number of men seeking help with eating disorders.
Common traits that men exhibit, in general, are: a need to feel significant, admired, and respected, a sense of self-worth reinforced by affirmation, they value self-sufficiency and can see life as a challenge or competition, they desire to be competent and strong, they enjoy leading and providing, and they are less driven by feelings (repress feelings or lack skills to express feelings).
Respond Positively
The stigma that is often associated with counseling goes against these common traits, such as feeling weak, broken, worthless, a failure, insignificant, too “feely”, or incapable of solving their own issues. So to combat some of the stigma and the insecurities that your husband may have, focus on the ways in which he feels strong, respected, self-sufficient, competent, and respected. Ask him about his session, what he talked about, how you could be involved or more supportive. Tell him that you are proud of him for having the courage to talk to someone. Be open to what he has to say about counseling, and ask questions if you don’t understand. Initiate a date night to talk about his session, but also give him space to talk to you about his counseling, don’t push the issue, but be gentle and understanding.
Deciding to engage in counseling can often take a lot of courage, so let your husband know how much you appreciate his efforts. Through your actions and words, your husband can be a new man and have a sense of fulfillment and strength.
If you or your spouse is considering counseling, contact Crosswinds today. We can help you navigate the process and help both parties support each other during these healing process.