Spot the Signs of Sexual Abuse by Stepbrother
Of all the tragic heart breaking events, that shatter a family, sexual abuse damages all those concerned. Many of these cases require a therapist for families as it has such a profound impact on all who are involved. Unfortunately it is not rare in our culture. And both perpetrators and victims alike deal with the aftermath for years, in most cases. So the signs of sexual abuse are gravely serious ones and need to be managed carefully.
First of all, there are laws in our state and in all fifty states that are very specific on what approach that we are to take. If there is even a suspicion that there is abuse of any kind, especially sexual abuse, a call to the proper authorities, in this case, Child Protective Services. It is their mandate by law to conduct an investigation. There are time limits placed on this call to be made as soon as possible, within twenty four hours at the most. To place this call can be terrifying in that, as a parent, it will feel like you have lost all control. But remember to hesitate will endanger the victim to be damaged all the more!
Consider the Proper Focus
Set a priority list from the most important to the least. Don’t get bogged down in the first attempt by overthinking. If you have a thought write it down, you can always eliminate some ideas and rearrange the order of importance. Items such as; protection, supervision of the young ones in your care, open and direct communication with those investigating the case, our own personal reactions to the events as they unfold or as they are revealed are all important in your short term priority list.
As a parent, taking the time to spend with the possible victim is crucial. If the child is old enough to talk, engaging them at their level is vital. If they have been offended, the need to open up about their experiences will help them process it and will send them the message that they are loved and protected.
Provide a Sense of Security to Those Involved
The possible offender also needs attention and a sense of security. This person will have all kinds of fear from the revelation of shameful acts to the uncertainty of their possible legal consequences. The stepson’s biological parent, your spouse, needs to be active here with the child. But also they need to be as concerned with the safety issues of the victim or it could send the message of unequal value between family members. Remind your stepson that you love him and are as concerned about him as you are for the daughter. Remember it is possible to love and be angry over behaviors at the same time.
Having access to good competent assistance is also important such as, counseling for all in the family, spiritual support from church, and some good accountability for your own personal reactions is vital. Remember that if the suspicions are true, the way of life familiar to you an all concerned will be different, and they need to be. Reassure your spouse, for they may feel a false sense of guilt for the issue, remember, they are not the abuser.
Do Not Ignore the Problem
The bottom line is… PROTECT, PROTECT, PROTECT! The task of the parent never changes, to protect the children from others, to protect them from themselves and to protect them from ourselves! To go it alone in this case will always end in disaster, Get outside help immediately!
If you are currently dealing with a sexual abuse problem or think you may be dealing with a sexual abuse problem, please contact us immediately. These are serious issues, and our staff and counselors are always here to help you through these types of difficult situations.