Podcast Episode 31: Social Media's Influence On Mental Health
Introduction:
Thanks for clicking on Conversations with Crosswinds Counseling. I’m Curtis Smith and I invite you to subscribe to our podcast and to like and share it as well. I hope you enjoy today’s episode.
Podcast #31:
Curtis: Hi, everyone, and welcome to Conversations With Crosswinds Counseling. I’m Curtis Smith, your host, and today we’re joined by Tessa Duncan. She is one of the counselors for Crosswinds Counseling in Indianapolis. Tessa, thank you for being with us today.
Tessa: Of course.
Curtis: We’re talking about a topic today that is so widespread. It is such a common thing in today’s world, but for many people my age, certainly, we didn’t grow up with it. And so, it’s something that we still need to make sure we’re talking about and keep in the conversation of mental health, and that is social media. Wow. That’s a big topic to unpack, but when we think about the way that social media is impacting people’s mental health, what comes to mind for you? What are some of your big picture thoughts on social media, and the role it’s playing in our world today?
Tessa: Yeah, so, I think it kind of falls into two camps. So, we do have a lot of positives that come with social media.
Curtis: Yeah.
Tessa: So, thinking about positives, it’s definitely a way of connection for people. So, especially people on Facebook connecting with family members that maybe don’t live in town or live in state, they can still connect with them and see what’s going on in their lives. Also, for people that belong to a marginalized community so maybe like a person of color, or LGTBQIA community, maybe they don’t feel safe in their community, or they don’t feel like there’s anyone that they can connect with locally, so they can kind of find support on an online community. So those are some very positive things about social media, but then we also have the downsides –
Curtis: What, I feel like, there’s a laundry list of downside, but from a therapist perspective, when you think of the downsides of social media, what are maybe the top two or three that come to mind for you?
Tessa: I think it can cause an increase in anxiety and depression, especially when we’re looking at children and teenagers. So, teenagers, their brains are still developing, and so they’re dealing with a lot of body image and self-esteem issues. And so when they’re going on social media and they’re seeing all these altered pictures of people’s bodies and their faces that are all face tuned, they’re like, ‘why don’t I look like that,’ and you’re like, ‘because nobody looks like that – they don’t even look like that,’ but I noticed that a lot of my teen clients kind of internalize that and think that something’s wrong with them, and so you really have to break it down and say like, ‘everything you see online isn’t real, and it probably is edited.’
Curtis; I know you’re highlighting young people and teens specifically, but it feels like those are issues that can go well into the 20s and 30s, and all of adulthood. We all care what other people think, right? We all know that we’re part of a family. Part of a work community. Part of a neighborhood. We all care how we fit in, and how others view us. So, I know we sometimes focus on teens and maybe that’s where the problem is the biggest, but it feels like that’s a problem across all generations.
Tessa: Yes, and because socialization never ends, you’re always going to have people impacted by social media. So, even when you’re a grandparent you may feel the need, or the urge to post your grandkids, and really brag about them like, ‘guess who got into med school,’ and then you might compare yourself to other grandparents.
Curtis: Yeah.
Tessa: Or even in social medias like LinkedIn, you can compare yourself professionally because people are constantly posting their achievements maybe if they won an award, got a grant.
Curtis: Right.
Tessa: And, so, you may look at it and say, like, ‘Okay, what is my company doing wrong that we can be doing better at.’ So, I think all across the board it causes people some anxiety.
Curtis: Yeah, because no one ever goes on LinkedIn and says, ‘Boy, I had a really bad day at work. Today I didn’t do my best. Today was a real struggle.’ Nobody ever does that. You know I’ve heard people talk about social media is just kind of the highlights. You’re looking at someone’s highlight reel. You’re always seeing their best moment. Their best day. Their best outfit. Their face or body is better on Facebook than it is in real life. So, it’s not always real, and that’s a hard thing I think for us to compute So, how do you combat that? How do you help? Especially a teenager whose mind is still developing, how do you help them see this isn’t reality It’s good to be connected to people, but you’ve got to be careful with this tool.
Tessa: Yeah. I think especially with teens and children, parents really do need to be monitoring their accounts. So, you can put certain safeguards in place, like what type of apps are they able to get on. How much screen time are they doing.
Curtis: Yeah.
Tessa: Because children shouldn’t have unlimited access to that, just because there can be some graphic content on there or you come up with these body image issues. So, having conversations with your kids and saying like, ‘Okay, let’s go to the grocery store and let’s look at other people.’ Like, do these people look like what you’re seeing on social media? No. You’re probably seeing the top 1% of people who are the most beautiful, the most wealthy, and so let’s look at average people and let’s talk about that. And also building up your child’s self-esteem to knowing like someone else can be beautiful, but you still have value even if you look differently. So really, having that open communication with your kids.
Curtis: Great tips. I love the limit screen time. I recently heard about a family that did a whole day social media fast. I know right, and I thought, Wow, that was good and probably hard because they had young kids with phones, and I’m sure that was hard. I love that though. So, let’s talk about adults.
Tessa: Yeah.
Curtis: Because those adult clients that you see who are in their 20s and 30s, and they’re doing the whole comparison game, how do you – they don’t have a parent who can help them limit the screen time in their house. They don’t have someone saying, ‘Hey, let’s go to the grocery store and get a sense of reality today.’ So, when you’re an adult, and you’re struggling with some of these same issues, what tips would you have for somebody out there right now who’s thinking, ‘Gosh, I spend too much time on social media. I get too sucked into it. I believe everything I’m seeing is the only reality out there.’ What would you say for those folks.
Tessa: Yeah, I would say for adults also, limit your screen time. Especially if you’re a parent, because you have a child looking up to you, seeing what you’re doing. But having those replacement things to do. So instead of waking up every morning and checking my phone, I’m going to go for a walk, or I’m going to read my Bible, or read my book. So having that replacement behavior. Also, with like iPhones you can check your screen time. So saying like, ‘Hey, I’m going to put a cap on myself two hours,’ or when you come home from work and you feel that like urge to check your phone, checking your motivations. Like, ‘Why am I checking my phone or this social media app? Is it so I can connect with family members or am I checking to see how many people liked my post from last week?’ Because if that’s the case, maybe I’m seeking validation, which means you’re seeking connection. So, instead of getting online and checking your likes, why don’t you call a family member? Call a friend. Be with people and get that real world connection that actually provides you with validation that’s real.
Curtis: Right. I love that, and I love what you said there about alternative ideas. It feels like having a plan – you know as adults. So, if we’re talking about somebody who is on their own, isn’t under their parents’ roof, boy having a pre-thought out plan. Tomorrow morning, I know I’m going to wake up and if I don’t have a plan I’m just going to instinctively grab the phone and start scrolling.
Tessa: Yes.
Curtis: So maybe, think out, write out a plan that seems like a great tip.
Tessa: Thank you,
Curtis: Yeah. How much of a problem is this? Like, you know, for those of us who aren’t counselors, we just kind of go through our days, and go through the world, and we think we know, but you dive deeply into stuff with people every day. How big of an issue is this in our world today?
Tessa: I think it impacts almost all of my clients. In my personal life, all of my friends, all of my family that are on social media. A lot of the times, we talk about core negative beliefs that people have about themselves in therapy. So, like, ‘I’m worthless.’ ‘I’m bad.’ ‘I’m not good enough.’ ‘I’m not pretty enough.’ Usually, that stems from childhood, but when we explore it more in present day, and they’re saying, ‘Everyone’s prettier than me.’ ‘Everyone’s doing better than me.’ ‘I’m not good enough.’ I’m like, ‘Who’s telling you these things?’ Or, ‘Where are you getting these messages from?’ And a lot of time it stems from social media. They’ll say, ‘Well, my friend just bought a new car. She’s paid off all her student loans.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, okay, did she tell you this?’ ‘No, I saw it on Facebook.’ And it’s like, ‘Okay, well do you know the real story behind that? Or maybe the struggles that she had to get there.’ ‘cause like you said, it’s the highlight reel.
Curtis: Yeah.
Tessa: And, so, I think almost all of my clients are struggling with that. And just really realizing how different social media is from reality sometimes.
Curtis: It feels like social media just heightens or exaggerates everything. So, if you’re using it for healthy things you can feel like, ‘Wow, I’ve never been more connected to my cousin who lives in California or my sister who moved across the state. Now we get to stay in touch, and technology is amazing.’ But at the same time, if you’re having anxiety, if you’re not feeling like you measure up, it’s gas on that fire too. So, it just seems like it exaggerates everything in our world.
Tessa: Yes. And with social media they have such great algorithms, and so they’re giving you content that you like, that you talk about. So if you’re in a negative head space and you’re looking up content that’s maybe a little bit more sad or depressing, it will continue to feed you that.
Curtis: Wow.
Tessa: So it’s hard to get out of that depression if you’re never seeing any positive content. Or same if you’re liking a lot of like bodybuilders as a man, and you’re like, ‘I want to get rid of my dad bod. I want to be like this weightlifter.’ It’s like it’s going to continue to send these messages if you’re feeding into it.
Curtis: Now, Tessa I feel like you’ve picked up my phone and gone through my phone ‘cause that is what happens to me. Like I am trying to exercise. Trying to get in slightly better shape, and I’ve been looking at Instagram – is the one for me where I have been following some male bodybuilders and now, all the time I’m getting like all of these ads, and all of these other things coming my way. Like here’s a 28-day plan, here’s a 30-day plan, and all these things. I’m like boy they really know what they’re doing. And that’s a key thing to remember when you get into the world of technology. It’s all about money. Right. They’re all trying to get your screen time. They’re trying to get your clicks. They’re trying to get you to purchase something. To follow something. That’s an important thing to remember.
Tessa: I love that you say purchase something because with influencers, they’re entire job is their social media, and so a lot of the times they’ll get sponsored to promote a product.
Curtis: Right,
Tessa: So, I have a lot of kids come in and they’re like, ‘Oh, I love this new skin care,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh, where did you hear about this?’ They’re like, ‘Tick Tock.’ And I’m like how is every 13-year-old girl in here using the same skin care? But it’s like social media is really feeding you this, and their job is to sell, and so it’s like maybe your kids want the new Uggs or the new Lululemon, and it’s like, do they really want this or [are] they getting it from social media?
Curtis: So true. And it’s a problem that is not going to go away.
Tessa: No.
Curtis: It’s only going to grow. So, if you are out there, and you’re struggling with screen time or social media, how it impacts and influences your life, or struggling as a parent with how to help your kids get out of that cycle, therapy might be a great idea for you. Talking with a counselor like Tessa at Crosswinds Counseling could be a really good step for you to take. So Crosswinds Counseling is a valuable resource. Tessa, we really appreciate your Insight today and your time with us today. And we hope that you enjoyed this conversation as well, and join us next time on Conversations With Crosswinds Counseling.
Outro:
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