How to Recognize if your Spouse has Anger Issues

Recognizing Spouse Anger Issues

Effects of Anger

Anger can be a tricky emotion that causes people to act out of their typical character. Anger can affect a person’s job, friendships, and marriage. When a spouse has anger issues in a marriage, it can often be taken out on the other spouse, leaving them feeling scared and alone.

Mismanaged Anger Warning Signs

The warnings signs of a deficit in managing anger can be either difficult to spot, or obvious. By the end of this blog, my hope is that the signs of a deficit in anger management will become apparent. One sign of a deficit in anger management would be a person having a disproportionate emotional response. This means that a person would have an outburst of anger that would seem to be mismatched for the situation. An example of this would be if a person uses volatile language and yelling due to them being unable to find a piece of clothing. Another sign that a person has difficulty with anger would be that a person gets enraged by a past memory. Recalling a past memory can bring up the same emotions that were felt during that moment, but an enraged reaction can be a sign of a difficulty in managing anger.

Signs in a Relationship

Mismanaged anger can also manifest itself in the form of abuse in a relationship. A spouse could take their anger out physically or psychologically. Physical abuse can manifest itself through hitting, punching, or shoving of a spouse and is often overt in nature. Psychological abuse can be more subtle than physical abuse. Psychological abuse can manifest itself in a marriage by a person being verbally aggressive. An example of this would be a spouse making threats to hurt the other. Another form would be dominating the other. Dominating can be characterized by a spouse preventing his or her significant other from seeing his or her friends or family. Finally, the last form of psychological abuse would be jealous behaviors. This can manifest itself by a husband or wife making accusations of the other having adulterous relationships despite there being no evidence or extramarital activities taking place.

Get Help – Who to Contact

If you feel that you are being abused in any manner, there is a hotline that can provide you with resources and support. The number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 877-799-7233. If a person is on the receiving end of mismanaged anger, it can often result in the spouse feeling alone. This loneliness can often drive a wedge between family members causing more distress. Another effect of mismanaged anger would be the spouse on the receiving end may feel fearful in the relationship. This can often lead to the spouse feeling anxious in regards to being genuine with their spouse resulting in a breakdown of communication and increase marital dissatisfaction. In addition, mismanaged anger can also lead to the spouse on the receiving end feeling depressed. This may manifest itself in the receiving significant other feeling a lowered self-esteem and hopeless about the future.

The signs of mismanaged anger can be obvious or subtle. Mismanaged anger can manifest itself in the form of having a disproportionate emotional response, becoming enraged by a memory, or abuse in a relationship. If you feel that your spouse has difficulty with managing anger there is hope in getting help. Counseling has proven to help couples manage anger and Crosswinds is here to help. There are also resources for those suffering from abuse through the abuse hotline. This number again is 877- 799-7233.


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