Holidays may not always feel ‘joyful’
The holidays can be a time of joy and family celebrations. But the holidays also bring about a lot of demands – on our time, on our finances, and on our emotional resources, to name a few. These extra demands can bring about exhaustion, which can lead to depression in some. Below are five practical tips to manage depression during the holiday season and experience more joy!- Acknowledge your feelings If you have experienced a recent loss of a loved one or are unable to be with family for the holidays, it is okay to feel sad and allow yourself to cry during this difficult time. Numbing sadness and other seemingly negative feelings numb positive feelings as well, so not allowing ourselves to feel sad may eventually lead to difficulty feeling joy. Resist the temptation to force yourself to feel happy just because it is the holiday season. It may even be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend and express how you feel.
- Set boundaries Saying yes when we want to say no can leave one feeling resentful, bitter, and overwhelmed. Setting boundaries in the following areas can help to ward off stress:
- Financial: Holidays can easily bring financial stress that extends well beyond the holidays. When shopping for Christmas gifts, set a budget ahead of time and stick to it. Online shopping can help to not just avoid buying things not on your list but also to avoid traffic and crowded parking lots. Avoid trying to buy another’s love with an abundance of gifts. Making gifts, starting a gift exchange, or making a donation to a charity in their name are examples of ways to make sticking to a budget easier.
- Time: If you absolutely cannot say no to a social gathering, carve out something else to make time for it instead of overscheduling yourself. Delegate tasks to family and friends, but be specific: Ask your significant other to get out the decorations from the attic, ask a friend along on your next shopping trip (combining shopping and relational self-care at the same time), or ask your sister to help with cooking/baking or even host the family dinner at her house! People are willing to help, but it is easier for them to help when you tell them exactly what you need.
- Emotional: Decide on several self-care activities that bring you joy and/or allow you to relax and write them on your schedule. These can include but are not limited to: exercise (which releases feel-good chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine, decreasing susceptibility to depression), bubble baths, making a gratitude list, or doing mindfulness exercises (there is an app for almost everything). Planning for time to refuel or recharge your battery is absolutely essential and (particularly for those who have had depression in the past) is not a luxury one can afford to skip at any time of year, especially the holidays. Make your mental health a priority by planning for self-care.
- Be flexible and have more realistic expectations So, Aunt Sarah and your dad get into an argument every Christmas and it makes you miserable. Realize that you cannot control what anyone else does or says (and, after all, they may be experiencing overwhelming holiday stress as well), but you can control your response to it. Also, don’t stress yourself out about everything being perfect-this is striving for an impossible goal. If the lights don’t get put up on the roof this year, the earth will still keep turning.
- Resist the temptation to use alcohol or other substances to treat depression Relying on alcohol to ease holiday stress or anxiety at a work party or “numb” feelings is a common strategy; but, alcohol itself is a depressant and, in the long run, will make matters worse. It can also be dangerous for those taking anti-depressant medication. To keep work party anxiety at bay, consider taking a friend along and arriving and leaving at the same time-having an ally and an escape plan can decrease anxiety.
- Seek professional help Despite your best efforts, you may still find yourself chronically sad, unable to find joy in activities you once enjoyed, unable to sleep or sleeping too much, having little desire to eat or eating too much, experiencing physical ailments that do not seem to go away or even feeling generally irritable or hopeless. It may be depression, which will not go away on its own but it is treatable. A mental health professional can treat depression in addition to helping you manage stress levels and navigate life’s changes.