We’re Thinking About Adopting

What To Know When Considering Adopting

We are thinking of adopting, are there issues we should be aware of?

This is a topic that is near to my heart.  Having adopted 3 of our 4 children, I have faced many of the challenges of adoption personally or have had the opportunity to talk to numerous families with regards to the unique challenges that they have faced due to having an adopted child.  There are really many difficulties that can occur in all phases of the adoption process from pre-adoption decisions, financing, to choosing a child, to bonding with a newly placed child, and post-adoption difficulties that adoptive children sometimes face.  I do not have time or space to address all of these difficulties; however, I do know that many of these difficulties can be avoided or dealt with effectively with some wise decision-making on the front end (i.e. choosing a reputable adoption agency) and getting necessary counsel for issues that arise later.  Maybe at a later time, I can address some of the concerns at the different stages more specifically.   Each of these have their own challenges and blessings, so one must evaluate, which type of adoption meets your need the best and which one God is calling you towards.

Maybe you are in the middle of difficulties with a child who is struggling with adoption issues. Please know that God does not give us situations that are bigger than we can handle and there is help out there to help you and your child deal with those issues.  Maybe you are at the beginning of the adoption process and are feeling overwhelmed or that the day will never come that you will hold your child, God will help you take it one step at a time and at the end when you meet or hold your child for the first time, you will realize: first, he is big enough to have helped you through it, and secondly, his timing is perfect.  

Remember adoption is an incredible experience and blessing.  God calls us to take care of the orphans of the world.  James 1:27 states, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widow in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  Does he say that it will be easy?  Does he say that it will always work out perfectly?  No, there are no guarantees, but this is true in non-adopted children as well.  God will give you the strength to deal with whatever comes your way.  And he will reward you according to your obedience to his calling.  

Additional resources:

  • Handbook on Thriving As an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges by David Sanford
  • Bonding and Attachment in Maltreated Children by Bruce Perry, M.D.
  • The Connected Child: Bringing Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Dr. David Cross, and Wendy Sunshine

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