What do people not understand about depression?

3 Misconceptions About Depression

3 Misconceptions about Depression

1: You wouldn’t be depressed if you just chose not to be.

Many well-intentioned people seem to imply that depression is in some way a choice that a depressed person is making. Perhaps you have heard something similar, “If you would just get out of the house and do something for yourself, I know you would feel much better.” While the thought behind this statement is likely one of care and concern, what is likely to be heard is, “Stop feeling bad about yourself. It shouldn’t be that hard to get up.” However, for the person struggling with depression, it is not a matter of simple choice. The person suffering from depression is likely experiencing significant fatigue and loss of energy, an overwhelming send of worthlessness and hopelessness, has a decreased interest and pleasure in most daily activities. The depressed person is also likely experiencing deficits in concentration, sleep, appetite, and may be having thoughts of harming self. So instead of offering recommendations of things for the depressed person to do, try instead, to sit with them, listen to the struggle, and be present.

2: People struggling with depression are weaker, not as spiritual, and lazier than other people.

This misconception is crawling on the walls of homes, offices, and churches across the country, crumbling many marriages, friendships, jobs, and churches. Depression is NOT a choice. Telling someone who is struggling with depression to “be happy” or recommending “fun” things for them to do, is not, in and of itself going to help that person. In fact, you are likely to be distancing yourself from that person. For someone diagnosed with clinical depression. Think back to the worst day in your life. That day when you felt completely helpless, your hope was fading, and all you could do was keep thinking about that thing you so desperately did not want to think about. Now imagine that each time you lay your head down for the night you know that things will be the exactly the same when you wake up (if you can even fall asleep in the first place). Eventually, after replaying your nightmare for days and days at a time, you begin to wonder, “What is the point of living?” Then the thought of, “I can’t take this feeling anymore” and you desperately attempt to claw yourself out of this pit on your own. Only to find that days, weeks, or for many, even years, the earth around you is mysteriously climbing higher and higher and all the work you have put in has only led to you being even further from reaching the top and being freed from your prison in the earth.

This poor and imperfect illustration is just a taste of the torment of depression. For more insightful descriptions of the suffering experience of depression see King David’s words in Psalm 38. Yes, even the man that God chose and said was a man “after His own heart” was impacted by depression. Not even King David was spared because of his power, wealth, or even spiritual position.

So the next time someone finds the words and the strength to share with their own depression with you don’t try to give them answers, don’t buy them a gift to “cheer” them up, and definitely do not tell them how you would handle things. Instead, sit with, be patient with, listen to, and silently love on them.

3. Medication is the “easy way” out of depression.

Because so many of us struggle to recognition the deep and lasting emotional, physical, and spiritual impacts of depression, we are often quick to judge others in their use of prescribed medication. Psychopharmacology (which is the study of the effects of drugs on the way people think, act, and feel) has a proven and extensive history of helping those who struggle with depression. Medication can be helpful for someone who is struggling with intense hopelessness and recurring thoughts of death or self-harm to find respite, even if briefly, from the torment of depression. This is not to say that medication is the cure-all for depression. Depression has been linked to irregularities in chemicals within the brain, family/genetic history, medical ailments, medications, and stressful life events. As a result, treatment should include medication plus. Medication plus individual talk therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Behavioral Activation, ect.), support groups, and/or family counseling is likely to provide the best client outcomes.

The next time someone finds the words and the strength to share with their own depression with you don’t try to give them answers, don’t buy them a gift to “cheer” them up, and definitely do not tell them how you would handle things or how you can help make things better. Instead, sit with, be patient with, listen to, and silently love on them.

If you or a loved one are experiencing depression, please consult with your primary care physician or another qualified person. If you or a loved one are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help immediately by calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 or by going to your nearest emergency room. Crosswinds is also staffed by qualified and committed professionals who can help you, your loved one, or your family from  the comfort of your own home.

For a scientific read on the biology of depression see “What Causes Depression” from the Harvard Medical School.

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