Should I Make My Children Go To Church?

Should I Make My Child Go To Church?

By Harold Graham, Chaplain

Church attendance by both children and adults is a good and healthy thing to do.  There are many reasons to attend; good teaching about God and spiritual matters, opportunity to worship, social outlets with other like-minded people, prayer and material support in times of trouble or illness.  All of these are real needs that we as human beings have and it is good to have that place to have these basic needs met

Yet there are valid reasons to not attend a specific church.  If the church is not meeting the needs of your child, then the child will be resistant to church attendance.  There may be conflicts with another person in attendance that may stress the child.  Then there are those churches where real damaging abuse happens, and unfortunately this happens way too often.  Your child just may have valid reasons for not wanting to attend church.  Talk to the pastor or someone in authority if this is true.  If the abuse is criminal in nature by all means report it to the appropriate authorities!

Every Case is Different and Unique

There is a need to carefully explore the reasons behind the reluctance to attend.  Has your child been damaged by the experience?  Is the church a safe place for your child?  Is the church you attend relevant to your child’s needs?  Does the church have a children’s or youth ministry that will hold your child’s attention and minister to that child’s needs?  Remember, while your church may be great for meeting your needs, it may not be good for the child.

By all means if you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then consider changing to another church ministry for the child’s sake.  Meet with the pastor or youth pastor of potential churches and ask hard questions about these issues.  Find a ministry that will offer some ministry that will meet your child’s needs.  For children, the content of the material being taught should hold their interest.  As they begin to grow toward the teen years, social aspects become more important to them.  A good youth ministry should be what you look for.

If after your investigation you discover that there are no problems with the church or its ministry and that the people there are safe for your child, then yes, your child should attend church with you. It is up to you if you would prefer to keep them with you for the adult services or send them to the children’s service.  Stress the value of family and let your children know that church is one thing that family does with each other.  Obviously the younger they are, the easier it will be.  But do not give in, staying home alone should never be an option. 

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